


Is it Possible For me to Love You?

by LixxXxxC



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, dreamteam - Fandom
Genre: Flirting, Flirty Dream, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, George takes too long, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious George, Overthinking, Requited Unrequited Love, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, too many feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28407654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LixxXxxC/pseuds/LixxXxxC
Summary: Recently, Dream has been acting more vocal on streams.And it's making George question everything he thought he knew.George must decide between platonic or romantic feelings for his best friend Dream.And rethink everything he thought he knew about love.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), dreamnotfound - Relationship
Comments: 19
Kudos: 114





	1. I just wish I could see through you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!! 
> 
> This is just a start to a cute fanfic 
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments!

George thought it was stupid to classify everyone on arbitrary characteristics. That being said, there were two types of people: those who loved easily and those who struggled with their feelings. For some people, love was just a four letter word, “An intense feeling of deep affection.” For some people, like Dream, life was too short to not love enough. He was open about compliments and endearment. But still, something about it felt off to George. Love and affection felt different, like it had to be special for that one person that lit up your life; the person who made you realize what love is. It wasn’t something to give to anyone, it was just understood by friends. Hell, sometimes he had difficulty expressing love to his family. Why was it so essential for people to just vocalize what they feel? Why was he the only one who wanted nonverbal confirmation? He didn't need to be reassured constantly.

_“I love you, George”’_

_“George, you’re such a cutie”_

_“I just wanna kiss you.”_

Half hearted affections left a prickly feeling on his skin, but it was hard to complain. Although it made him feel strange, it wasn’t necessarily bad. Sometimes Dream’s whine for the return of his affection even made George feel guilty. Sometimes he wished he could be so casual with intimacy. Be tender with his friends. It just wasn’t something he felt comfortable with.

And the views and attention it gathered wasn't bad either. Sometimes he allowed himself to click on "Dreamnotfound Cute Clips!!!!" _Just to see what they were like_ , he would tell himself. 

A gentle vibration of his phone brought George back to reality. How long had he been staring at his wall? His eyes felt dry, and his head hurt. It didn’t matter; he unlocked his phone to see a snap notification from Sapnap _. “You down to join my stream?"_ He looked towards his clock- it was pretty late for him. Late night streams have never stopped him previously. He pulled himself away from the comfort of his sheets and to his desk, loading up Discord. He felt anticipation that he couldn't place a reason for. 

“Oh, is George finally here?” the voice unmistakably belonged to Dream.

“George, get on Minecraft,” Sapnap demanded.

George chuckled and loaded everything up, just listening to Dream and Sapnap’s mindless conversations. This felt safe to him. It was calm, or at least calm as it could be. It was all normal until Dream had to take it to the next level by reading donations.

“‘Dream, I love you. Can you say I love you to George and Sapnap?’ space_ghost22 says. I mean, I will but George won’t say it back.” Dream quipped.

“Stop. It’s not necessary.” George rolled his eyes, dragging out the ‘necessary’ while slightly laughing.

“But I want you to say it back to me. C’mon, you know you love me. I love you! Say it back!”

“Noo, anyways-.” George tried changing the subject like always.

“You’re probably blushing right now. I would bet money on it, George. Just say it back.”

“I’m not blushing, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Are we going to-”

“You are. You’re probably also smiling, even though you won’t admit it. That dumb smile you have that make your eyes light up.”

“What-”

“You have beautiful eyes, George.” Dream said seriously.

Then it was silence. George didn’t know how to respond. He wasn’t expecting the deliberateness in Dream’s voice. Despite the miles apart they were, he could feel the weight in the air between them. What was he supposed to say to that?

Was he supposed to thank him? Was it a joke? Fuck, had George even heard him correctly?

George’s throat felt dry. He felt awkward. He felt like he wanted to hang up the call and pretend none of it ever happened. He couldn’t even place why he felt so uncomfortable, it was just Dream being Dream. His stupid jokes that felt too real. Dream allowing love to be a joke. 

Now he was taking too long to respond. Fans would definitely notice this long pause. He should have just quipped something stupid. Or told Dream to shut up. If he did that now, it would sound weird. Why was he so stupid? George was used to this, he had long dealt with Dream's affections. How was he suddenly at a loss for words?

The silence, which seemed like an eternity even though it was about 20 seconds, was broken by Sapnap.

“Aww, no attention for sap? That’s so not fair, Dream.” Sapnap whined.

George finally let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding in. The banter resumed, as if nothing had happened at all.

George felt a wire array of emotions: flustered and surprised and frustrated. He was angry that Dream would do that to him. He was angry at himself for letting himself be affected. George felt the buzz of his phone once again.

_“U ok?”_

It was from Dream. George thought about sending back a scathing paragraph about how inappropriate it was for him to do that on stream. How he knew George didn’t feel comfortable showing affection like that and he knew how it affected him. How Dream should have just dropped it. 

Instead, George sent back a,

_“I’m fine.”_

After another hour, Dream announced he was going to log off. George decided to get off when he did. He logged off his computer for the night, sighing in relief when throwing off his headphones. He made false promises to himself that he would get up and brush his teeth. The warmth of his bed was far more appealing than the cold tile in his bathroom. He laid on his plush bed, forgetting to even put his phone on the charger.

He replayed the events of his entire day in his head, thought about what he had to do the next day, about what he had to do all week, and slowly the thoughts drifted off into nothingness. His last thoughts were about the stream and his friends.

Which brought up the question, did George love Dream?

There was no doubt about it. It was purely platonic.

Right?


	2. What the hell are we doing now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George has some serious thinking to do about last night, and Dream isn't making it easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!!
> 
> Thank you all for such kind comments and kudos on my story!!
> 
> This is my first real attempt at fanfiction, and I'm trying to improve.
> 
> Please leave kudos or comments or even critiques for me.

It was early in the morning, and it was far earlier than George would have liked to have woken up. As the biting cool air blew through the dew covered grass, he laid in bed, thoughts running despite the seemingly slow surroundings. He wasn’t quite sure why he was anxious over the things Dream said; he said them so frequently that he had grown used to the large bout of affection. Or so he had thought. 

_“C’mon, you know you love me. I love you! Say it back!”_

_“That dumb smile you have that makes your eyes light up.”_

_“You have beautiful eyes, George.”_

Perhaps it was the serious tone Dream suddenly developed, the transition being so sudden he hadn’t had time to adjust. Perhaps it was how specific the compliment had gotten, usually so vague and random. Perhaps it was the following silence that normally would have been followed with more affection from Dream, or Sapnap making jealous quips about the two. But the more he thought about it, the more his gut told him that the truth was far more shameful than that. 

The more Dream complimented him and sought after him with adoration, the more guilty George felt for enjoying it. Why was it different with Dream? He wasn’t sure when it started changing, when his heart started beating faster as Dream would join the discord call, or how he smiled so wide when Dream shouted his name in that playful shout with laughter soon following. 

_“You have beautiful eyes, George.”_

“Agh!” He groaned, dragging his hand across his reddening face. Why was it replaying in his head? It was like Dream was a broken track record, repeating the same quip over and over again, suffocating him so slowly.

“ _I love you! Say it back!”_

Does Dream even mean the things he says? Sure, he was an open person, but no one could be so nonchalant with their emotions. He was almost certain he was jokingly flirting as best friends do, as best _guy_ friends so often do. No, if he meant it, he’d call him separately. His voice would be raw and honest and his throat hoarse as he admitted his feelings. George would be curled up in his bed, pulse speeding up and a smile tugging at his face and he’d notice the soft breaths Dream would release in between words and-

His heart squeezed a little bit. 

He shouldn’t be imagining this - he was only hurting himself, and nothing good could come from this guilty pleasure of his. 

His phone buzzing shocked George out of his dreamlike stage. He let out a little discontented sigh, and reached over and unlocked his phone. 37%. 

Fuck. He pulled his charger from under his bed and plugged it in, annoyed with himself for forgetting in his worries. 

“ _U up?”_

What kind of text was that? Why does he want to know? 

_“Yeah”_

_“Good morning”_

_“Good morning to you too.”_

He waited a few seconds before adding,

 _“You know it’s 1AM for you, right?”_ _  
_

_“Yeah”_

And George thought that it was over with. He put his phone down for only a second before it buzzed again.

_“Hey, do you think caterpillars mourn death?”_

_“What the FUCK?”_

George laughed while looking down at his phone. He took it as Dream making sure they were still good, maybe Dream even felt a little bad for last night. Now things were forgiven. No point in thinking about the past. So why were Dream’s affections still in George’s head on repeat?

_“You’re avoiding the question.”_

_“I don’t even know how to respond to you.”_

_“Maybe you’re one of them.”_

_“One of WHAT?”_

George unconsciously covered his mouth while he laughed. He enjoyed the simple moments like this. Just stupid texts that meant nothing and everything at the same time. He felt that same calm he felt last night. He hadn’t realized how much he felt this, but the strange thing was, he only felt it around Dream. The question from before appeared in his head once again.

What made Dream so different? 

George couldn’t help but stumble over his words more around Dream. He thought of his bouncing leg. His blushing face. His wide smile. His softer laughs. The only way he could think to describe it was “right.”

_“What are you doing?”_

_“I just woke up, nothing yet. What about you?”_

_“Not much.”_

_“Then why are you up so early?”_

_“Do I need a reason?”_

_“Do you always wake up for nothing at 1 am?”_

_“Not really”_

_“That’s what I thought.”_

_“I needed to clear my head.”_

George couldn’t help but notice the change in Dream’s tone. Also the switch in his texting style. Why had Dream gone from so casual to formal?

_“What are you thinking about?”_

_“I don’t know, that’s the problem. Too many things to think about. It’s like I’m always worried about something. How am I supposed to prioritise worries? There’s never a break. Never a moment to stop and look at stars.”_

_“Wow, yeah, you’re right.”_

_“So that’s what I did.”_

_“Huh?”_

_“Made time to look at the stars.”_

The thought of Dream staring into the night sky made George take a deep breath. He imagined Dream leaning against his window, or maybe he had opened it. Maybe he was outside, sitting with his legs crossed, leaning just slightly back enough to see the dark sky, with the gentle orbs looking back at him. Dream would smile and brush back his dirty blonde hair, he’d push it behind his ear. Then he’d keep leaning back until his back pressed against the cold grass. He wouldn’t even notice the early dew or the crawling bugs. All that mattered was the stars. 

He wondered if the stars Dream saw were the same he looked at.

George cursed himself for having such a cliche and pathetic thought. 

_“Are they pretty?”_

George didn’t get a response as quick as he had been. For a brief moment George wondered if Dream had fallen asleep. Why did that thought make him the slightest bit sad?

Until he received a picture notification on snapchat. 

It was the night sky. Dark, mixed with blues and purples. The white of the stars littered it. It wasn’t like George had never seen the night sky before, it was an everyday occurrence. Something about Dream’s perspective made George want to stare at it forever. George felt like he could memorize each star's placement and still not have seen it enough. 

_“It’s magical.”_

_“Yeah. Makes me want to skip sleeping to see it more often.”_   
  


George remembered how late it was for Dream. Part of him wanted to ignore the fact, and keep talking. He wanted Dream to tell him about the stars. 

_“Go to bed, idiot.”_

_“There’s no fun in that.”_

_“Go to sleeeeeep.”_

_“Only if you promise to call later so we can continue this conversation.”_

Was there more to this conversation? Or was it just an excuse?  
  


_“Whatever, sure, just don’t be a zombie cause you were looking at stars.”_

_“I think it was worth it.”_

_“Get some sleep.”_

_“I will.”_

Then George closed his phone. He thought about the things he needed to do, it was just the start of the day, even though he felt like so much had already happened. He felt breathless just from the last 20 minutes. He also felt safe again. He tried to stop thinking about his exchanged words with Dream, and about the coffee he wanted to make. Then the image of Dream looking at stars appeared in his head.

The image was so clear. However, more than the image, George wanted to imagine being next to him. He wanted to lay next to him. 

George thought more and more about the warmth he experienced. 

_I’m not, like in love with him or anything._

George reasoned with himself. Love meant something. It affected how someone thought, how they act, it changed a person. Then a buzz came from his phone, and George flung himself to check it on the chance it was Dream. He paused. 

_Oh fuck, I’m in love with him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me writing star scene at 2 am thinking it was cute but unrealistic 
> 
> George & Dream: hahaha among us star gazing go brrr
> 
> You ever just imagine your homie looking at stars?


	3. Hit Undo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George starts to process his realization, but has he been overthinking Dream's intentions?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!! I am so excited to get this chapter out to you guys!!
> 
> Sorry for the slight delay in posting, I decided I wanted to go back and add more words for more content for you guys!
> 
> I just want to thank each of you for supporting my cute little story with hits, kudos and comments. Each and every one has made me smile.

“Fuck!” He shouted to no one. George had only just stood up before he sat down on his bed, covering his eyes with his hands. His face felt hot and flushed, blood rushing to his head. It was all he could do to stop himself from bashing his own head against the wall. 

There was no way George was in love with Dream. 

They were just friends. They just played minecraft together. Well, George had long known their friendship went beyond just youtube. He always knew there was a genuine connection between him and Dream. Even before he had seen Dream, they were close. They spent so long talking with each other, texting, just in each other's company sleeping on calls. However, it was still too soon. Even as long as they knew each other, he just started realizing these different feelings. It was a crush at most. Definitely not love. 

Love wasn’t this. 

Perhaps it was just their good friendship. There was nothing wrong with being platonic friends. 

He forced himself up, only to pace around his room. The more he tried thinking about this, the angrier he got. 

“Why is he like this? Why does it have to be Dream? Fuck!” George kicked a pillow, that's only crime was the wrong place at the wrong time, across the room. The desire to break and destroy everything he owned was rising. George had never really been an angry person, but he simply had no clue what to do with these feelings. In his mind, this was the only acceptable way to deal with having a crush on your best friend. His rampage only ended once he hit his foot against the hardwood of his bed. The pain brought him back to reality, making him sit down and take a deep breath.

In that moment, George found himself wishing for someone to comfort him. He wrapped his own arms around himself in an attempt at solace. He wanted strong arms to pull him against a solid chest, and rub senseless patterns onto his back, he wanted to lean into someone’s neck and cry until there were no tears left. He would hear soft nothings of “ _You’re okay” “I’m here for you.”_ and _“I’ve got you.”_

The problem is he knew who he wanted to comfort him. 

George busied himself through the day, with projects, emails, editing, anything he could think of. His back was stiff and numb from the upright position while at his desk. George leaned back in his chair, before raising his arms above his head to stretch. The memory of the morning came flashing back. The sheer thought of the texts jammed their way into George’s imagination without a warning. 

“ _How am I supposed to prioritise worries? There’s never a break. Never a moment to stop and look at stars.”_

George tried to imagine what Dream was worried about. Of course, the both shared the casual worries that came with their jobs. They both worried about their families and friends. George was sure Dream worried about what was the next stage in his life.

Could there be more to his worries? Could Dream also be troubled by George? Did he feel the same way? 

Once George started on the train of thought of feelings, the image from this morning came to mind. The stars that Dream saw. Would Dream want to stargaze with him? George decided to focus on real life, nothing good could come from allowing his mind to wander in fantasies. He threw himself into distractions until he received a discord notification. When Dream asked him if he wanted to stream, he was a little surprised. It seemed Dream had been streaming more and asking George to be there, but George didn’t have a reason to why. 

George considered declining, knowing how Dream’s voice would affect him in this state. His deep but soft voice did too much to George. Sometimes, George found himself wishing Dream would never stop talking. Maybe if Dream talked to him, one on one, forever George could find out so much more. Dream had a habit of revealing little information, just enough to keep George wanting to discover every story he had to offer. He was from Florida, after all, he must have some crazy stories. Then, through those stories, George could understand the real Dream. The man behind the mask. 

In the end, he accepted, logged on, and started his normal task. They soon would probably do another stressful manhunt or challenge, but in this moment, it was calm. George found himself listening and hanging onto every word Dream said. The conversation seemed unusual. Maybe a little tense or even awkward at times. George tried to fill any silence with random talk, but talking to Dream with a new perspective was off. George made sure his tone never wavered. He wanted to seem normal. 

“Why is there just a tree here?”

“I don’t know, it just grew there.”  
  
“Did you plant it here?”

“Are you seriously accusing me of planting a tree in a bad spot?”

George laughed as Dream did, allowing himself to become fixated on the game instead of who he was playing with. He started to look over more at chat, which wasn’t exactly the calmest. 

“‘George, I love-’” George paused for a second to make sure he wasn’t being tricked into saying something he didn’t mean. Especially after the fiasco of last stream. “‘-you and your content always makes me smile. Thank you for doing what you do.’ No problem Hobbit_mop. Thank you for your donation.” 

He had assumed maybe his halt in reading went unnoticed until Dream spoke. 

“Why won’t you say ‘I love you to me.’” Dream spoke

George had hoped this conversation wouldn’t come up again. Hadn’t Dream understood that George didn’t want to talk about it? At the same time, George also didn’t exactly know how to answer the question. Perhaps if they were on a private call, just them two, he could be more real. George could attempt to explain the prickly feeling and fear of telling someone about love. 

“What’s it matter?”

“I just want you to say it for real. Are you like this with everyone?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Why?” Dream laughed as he replied, but the question held a certain serious weight with it.

One word. It was such a simple but complex question. George wasn’t exactly sure when he developed the insecurity. Maybe he was scared of love. He had never experienced true abandonment, However, he wasn’t going to allow himself to falter like he had last night. He was hummed in response in thought. 

“I don’t know. I was supposedly a very loving and cuddly child.”

“Like, really? You used to be clingy? I can imagine you’re still a cuddler”

“No, not really, I don’t think. Maybe with my cat.” 

George couldn’t stop another image in his head. He thought of lying with Dream. Dream would be sitting with open arms, trying to convince George to come to bed. George would finally give in, sliding in the open space beside him, and pulled into Dream’s chest. He’d feel Dream’s chin rest on his head, before Dream pulled them both down to the soft pillows. The impression of Dream’s smile against his skin. His arms would wrap around George’s torso. Safe in his arms. 

“Augh. Ummm.” He stumbled. He wanted to erase the metal image, but he also wanted it to never leave. He really needed to stop thinking about Dream’s arms and chest. 

“What about you, Dream? Are you cuddly?” George tried to change the subject from him, keeping himself occupied. He didn’t want his fluster to be recognized on camera. He most certainly didn’t allow himself to blush. 

“Yeah, I’d say so. I like hugs.” It sounded like Dream was smiling. 

Eventually Karl and even Sapnap joined the stream, and pressure was taken off George to preform. He made sure he talked, but he was discreetly processing this unidentified object that could most likely be recognized as “love.” He really enjoyed Karl’s friendship, but it was so easy to recognize how much more he enjoyed Dream’s. Any daze he could be pulled out of by Dream just talking. It pained him to acknowledge that this was no longer just a friendship in his mind. George wanted more. If he did love Dream, he should be able to flirt with him right? It wasn’t like he hadn’t before, times of “step-Dream” and “Untie me, Dream” flashed in his mind. But he hadn’t meant them before. Could he mean it now?

It was becoming night in the game, mobs were spawning which was beginning to become more of a problem. The team rushed to get into beds to skip to the morning. George happened to scroll up and look at the sky. 

The sky in minecraft compared nothing to real life, and George’s night sky compared nothing to the picture Dream sent him. 

“Hey Dream, as many stars as there are in the sky, I think you’re my favorite one. Definitely the brightest.” George said, his heart skipped a beat once it left his mouth. It was tame, but suddenly felt like he had just offered his body. 

Dream hummed in response. He seemed far more focused on the blocks he was jumping over. Not even recognizing the hypocrisy of George. He simply resumed his conversation with Karl. Part of George was crushed. This meant he had been overthinking everything. It was far too good to be true, that his best friend somehow returned feelings George just realized he had.

The other part of George, was relieved. It meant everything could go back to normal. George relaxed in his desk chair, sighing contently. Nothing changed. He was simply overthinking Dream’s words. They were just friends.

Yet, George immediately felt a stinging feeling of pain. Almost as if he was heartbroken. 

Processing the game or conversation couldn’t be further from George’s priorities. Eventually, he realized people would start noticing. Not to mention that, if he continued to hear Dream, the tears pooling at his eyes may have spilled over. 

“I think I’m gonna head off soon.” George explained. 

“Are you going to sleep, George?”  
  


“I don’t know, probably not.” 

George hadn’t even removed his headphones after shutting down his laptop before his phone buzzed. He expected (hoped for?) a text from Dream, but to his surprise, it was from Sapnap. 

_“Dude.”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“What was that in the stream?”_

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“Why are you and Dream being so weird? It’s not like normal, it’s, like, awkward. Is this a joke I’m not in on?”_

_“We weren’t being weird. You’re overthinking.”_

_“I wanna ask you a question, and you not get mad at me.”_

_“No promises.”_

_“Do you have serious feelings for Dream?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I don’t know.”_

George didn’t have a response. Part of George wanted to believe he did, and prove to himself that he was capable of these feelings. However, he also didn’t want to be affected by chemicals such as love. He had learned over the years, that if you were in love, you were weak. George wasn’t weak. There was no denying the fear if he was in love, because then George had to worry about returned feelings. It was all too much for him. It would be easier to forget this was even happening. 

George grimace as he leaned back in his chair, he saw the dots signaling Sapnap was typing, but they quickly disappeared. George figured Sapnap wanted to scold him, or try and reassure him, but they both knew there was no point. It would be a waste of typing, George wouldn’t listen to any of it. George set his phone down and yawned. His eyelids were sore, and demanded he rest. He needed to think again about what he was feeling, but that would weigh too heavy on him as tired as he was. If he hadn’t known the discomfort of waking up after sleeping in his desk chair from past experience, he’d be tempted to fall asleep there. Another buzz came from his phone. 

This time it was from Dream on Snapchat. George stared intently at his phone, at the

“🌥Dream 🌥 is typing…” George’s breaths quickened as he awaited Dream to finish. He wanted to immediately lunge to the text, but he didn’t want to seem as if was too clingy. The text could be anything. Had Dream noticed a change in George’s demeanor? If he had, was he angry or would he be ecstatic? Perhaps he somehow figured out all the feelings George hadn’t even understood himself. He could also tell George to stop being weird. Anticipation was building in George as he created a thousand possible/impossible scenarios. His leg rapidly bounced without his knowledge, as he finally slid open and entered his password. The white as the chat loaded took a second too long in George’s anxious mind. 

  
  


_“Wyd?”_


	4. Where's The Real You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George and Dream have a conversation that brings more questions than answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!! 
> 
> Ahhh!! Thank you so much for all the support!! 
> 
> We're getting into the good parts and I've hope I've done you guys some justice!
> 
> Will they ever learn to use clear communication? Who knows?

The icon of Dream’s bitmoji was still there, which undeniably meant he was waiting on a reply. His heart was racing, but he wasn’t sure if the context was good or bad. _Fuck_ _I need to respond,_ George cursed himself. Dream had a stupid ability to make George rethink every decision he made. Every thought he had was immediately second guessed when it came to Dream.

“ _Not much_.” 

“ _R u going to sleep?_ ” 

“ _Nah_.”

George found himself wanting to continue the conversation, but was unsure what to say. He couldn’t think of anything personal but casual enough. He couldn’t think of anything worthy of the late-night conversations so many people had - the ones where insecurities and deep regrets and scars were placed on the table, where the barest of you was just _there_ and that other person was there and despite that, it was calm. That’s what it was supposed to be. 

He looked out his window; it was dark out. He stood up and walked to his window, shakily opening it. He opened the camera on the app and pointed it towards the sky. He typed out, 

“ _My stars are prettier than yours_ ” 

A picture came through of what appeared to be a wall 

“ _That was expected_.” 

What did that mean? When was the last time George over thought about something he knew so deeply said? And despite that, despite his rapid heartbeat and the awareness of his blood pumping, he was having fun. George closed his window and walked away, still looking at his phone.

George hadn’t realized texting someone could be this fun. He didn’t actually enjoy texting; sometimes it was too hard to understand tone and to match it. With Dream, it felt natural. George wasn’t worried - he could instantly reply and feel safe. He was still overthinking every word, but he enjoyed it. He smiled while looking down at the snap Dream just sent. It was a picture of one leg over a blanket, with a stupid response to what George had sent. George leaned against his counter, and in a rare moment of confidence, double clicked to reply and turned his camera around. It was hot and humid currently, and he was only wearing his boxers. And that’s exactly what he took a picture of. He hesitated over the send button for only a second. 

Then he immediately regretted it. What the hell was he thinking? Being that forward. He ruined everything. His thoughts spiraled and he was already planning his apology. Or maybe he could just play it off as a joke. He was suddenly interrupted by his phone buzzing, however it wasn’t a response. He could clearly see Dream's name, screenshotted. Why had he saved it? Then another reply.

_“You look cute.”_ Was the only reply, against the darkness of Dream’s comforter. 

It was like time stopped in that moment for George. 

Should he respond casually and be confident? He felt flabbergasted; what he really wanted to do was curl up in his bed and replay those words in his head, imagining his voice saying it. If he could type out how he felt in words, it’d be a keyboard smash. Instead, he responded with a cool, 

“ _Thanks, I know._ ” 

“ _Do you want to call?_ ” 

“ _Sure_.” 

Despite his casual demeanor while texting, George was a mess in real life. He ran his fingers through his hair, undoubtedly making it worse. He stared at his phone awaiting the call, only remembering to breathe when his body demanded it. He sighed and laid against his bed, his sheets were cool, a relief against his heated cheek. He wanted to jump or move in some way, there was too much energy in him. 

George answered the ringing discord call that contrasted the eerie white noise of the dark room, unsure of what to expect. He felt uncertain and clumsy, and his tongue felt thick and heavy. He wasn’t sweating yet, but the air felt sticky and his hands were clammy, and holy _shit_ why was he so nervous? It was just Dream, his closest and best friend. Why was it so different? His heart ached when he wasn’t talking to him, an empty, heavy feeling that made him want to recede to his room and sleep, and when he was talking to him, it was racing. His heart seemed hardly normal nowadays. 

“Hey,” He imagined a smile on Dream’s face, soft, pink lips pulled upwards and crinkles at the corner of his eyes. He heard sheets rustling and he was again reminded that although it was about 8 PM for Dream, it was about 2 AM for him. “How are you?”

He hummed a bit before responding with a shaky, “I’m alright, you?” There was an odd sense of formality in the air, a sense of heaviness that made his heart sink. What was wrong? Sapnap was right - something _was_ going on; he just wasn’t sure what it was. 

“I’m good now that I’m talking to you.” 

_God_ , his poor heart. 

“Were you not good before?” 

Dream waited a minute too long before responding, and whether he was thinking or just didn’t hear it, George didn’t know. He was considering repeating the question or even changing the subject until Dream said, “Just had something on my mind is all.” 

“What’s on your mind, Dream?” Fuck, that’s not his business. They had their serious conversations, sure, but they never stretched as far as the personal things they thought about. Dream, once more, waited a few minutes before responding; this time, George didn’t dare to break the uncomfortable silence. As bold as he had felt earlier, he felt terrified now.

However, he was unsure of what he feared.  
“How come you only call me by my pen name?” He softly responded, and George just about collapsed at the pure emotion in his voice. He sounded vulnerable, so unlike his usual exhilarating self. “We’ve known each other for a while. For streams I understand, but when it’s just us or the other guys.” Dream trailed off at the end, allowing George to assume the implication. 

He wasn’t sure what to say. Once again, he felt clumsy, despite sitting still. He was scared if he spoke his voice might shake. Dream had told him before he could call him by Clay, and it wasn’t like he hadn’t done it, but when he did, it was usually because the chat asked him to.

“I didn’t know it bothered you that I did,” He responded lamely. A pitiful excuse for a pitiful man. George felt like he could hit himself. He wanted to slap his own face, or bang his head. 

“If you prefer to call me Dream, I don’t mind,” He explained. “But it sounds like you’re just hesitant to say my real name.” 

He wasn’t wrong. To say Dream’s real name felt like he was crossing a barrier; something so simple, something given at birth, and yet something that felt vulnerable and venerable likewise, like he didn’t have the stature to say it. 

He never felt smaller. 

“I guess I am a little bit,” He admitted. “I’ve known you as Dream for such a long time that changing that felt big to me.” Shit, should he have said that? That could be taken any way you point. He wished he could take it back. He started rambling again

“I don’t mean it as that I don’t see you as someone past the youtuber or the programmer and stuff, but it just felt super personal and I know the other guys call you by your name past the streams, but I didn’t want to cross a line. I can if you want though, I don’t mind. It’s up to you.” 

Dream stayed quiet until he nonchalantly said, “Do whatever makes you comfortable.” 

“Alright.” He responded quietly. What else was there to say after that?

The pause in the air hurt George. Wasn’t it supposed to be easy once you realized you had a crush? George had always understood that being in love was fun, but this soul crushing awkwardness was suffocating George. There was a constant internal battle to yell out everything on his mind, or to forget everything. But George knew he couldn’t unload on an unsuspecting Dream, and giving up these new feelings wasn’t an option, unfortunately. 

“So,” George stuttered, he just wanted to talk, to be assured it wasn’t weird between them. “You’ve been streaming more recently, why’s that?” 

George heard shuffling from the other side of the phone, his mind couldn’t help but wonder what position Dream was in. 

“I don’t know really, I guess, I’m happiest when I’m streaming. I mean, I enjoy doing things in my real life, but sometimes it seems repetitive, and kinda lame. Sorry, I’m bad at explaining feelings.” Dream’s voice got quieter at the end of the sentence, like he was embarrassed for admitting anything.”

“I understand, I feel the same sometimes.” George tried to be comforting. 

“When I’m with you guys, it’s fun and interesting. Mostly just you.”

“You like it when I stream with you?”  
“I love it when you’re with me.”

George gasped ever so slightly, he hadn’t expected the directness. It reminded him of just the other day when Dream complimented his eyes. He had heard the elusive “L” word from Dream hundreds of times, but it always felt different, every time he said it. This time was caring, full of genuinity. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I know how you feel about love.” Dream apologized, he seemed slightly ashamed. 

George bit his lip, he owed Dream an explanation at least. This is how he wanted to explain it, personally. He never had the intention of implying he didn’t want love, he longed for the feeling everyone described as magical. He wanted to love and be loved. Sometimes, that seemed impossible. 

“It’s not like I hate it or anything. I don’t know, to me, it’s like, once you love someone, you never stop loving them” 

“That’s a bit of a problem for me, considering my exe” Dream laughed, taking it lightly 

George remained serious “I believe if you truly love someone, that love doesn’t just go away. It’s always inside of you. That’s why I’m so selective with love. And saying love,or compliments or affections. You have to keep it safe for whoever you decide to give it to. So you can love them completely.” 

It was quiet again, something George was beginning to hate. He had poured his heart out just the slightest, he wasn’t sure if he could take Dream brushing him off.

“I want you to know what true love is, George.” Finally came from the phone, and George’s head was spinning. He once again didn’t know how to respond. He wanted to accept this as proof of mutual feelings, but there was no actual evidence. Dream always said love, it was his thing. True love didn’t mean romantic. George didn’t have a chance to answer, before Dream had changed the subject, sending a pang in George’s heart. 

“And it’s nice to stream too, boosts ratings, fans are always happy to see my side of streams.”

“We should plan some other kinda challenge with us two again.” 

“We’ve done a lot, what’s next ‘Minecraft but my friends a cow’” 

George laughed, mimicking his recording voice, “Today we’re playing minecraft, but my friend’s a cow, meaning he can only walk around and be milked.” 

“Oh, you know everyone would take that out of context.” This time they both laughed, George imagined Dream with a dopey, sleepy smile. It felt right again, like the world was as it should be. George felt like he was in Dream’s arms, from so many miles away. He once again felt comfortable, but the looming idea that the tense feeling would make it’s return terrified George. He wanted to stay like this forever, but he couldn’t stay by his side, could he? Hell, he wasn’t even by his side currently.

It was always like this. Always mixed signals. Every time Dream would say something that gave George hope, then pried it from his hands by changing the subject, like taking a new toy away from a child. It made George second guess every word. He really wanted to believe he returned his feelings, but how could he when Dream always stopped just seconds before George would get the confidence to tell the truth? He enjoyed Dream’s friendship, but felt he would enjoy a relationship more. It felt like Dream was toying with him, making him believe there was something more that he didn’t actually want. 

George was pulled from his thoughts by the realization that Dream had asked him a question, he hummed a reply that was neither affirmative or a negation, and seemed to satisfy Dream enough to keep talking. George was becoming increasingly aware of Dream’s smooth voice, deep enough to lull George into a trace. He smiled, paying attention to each tone in Dream’s voice. He tilted his head further into his pillow. He started to twist Dream’s words and imagine them being said in a loving way to George. Realistically, George recognized this would only hurt him, but in the moment it felt so right. 

He wondered if Dream felt these same happy emotions on his side. Was Dream blushing as well? He wished Dream would turn on his camera, George almost felt confident enough to ask him to, but stopped himself as the request was on the tip of his tongue. He was being too forward. This newfound confidence must be coming from pleasure. George couldn’t remember the last time he felt this ecstasy. Maybe the last time he had a one on one casual conversation with Dream. Something was always different at night, when they spilled their truest emotions. He adored raw Dream. 

Dream yawned, it was soft and quiet, maybe even cute. George then realized how selfish he was being. He had half a thought to ask to stay on call all night, fall asleep, metaphorically, in Dream’s arms. He could at least pretend like he was feeling his skin on his, and Dream was petting George’s hair, with their legs entangled. However, that train of thought exactly what would keep him from sleeping. 

“You need to go to sleep.” 

“What are you? My mom? You don’t have to worry about my sleep schedule, George.” Dream laughed, but his voice sounded so tired. In a way George would never admit, his sleepy voice made his heart rush, it was, well, he didn’t exactly know how to describe it. 

_It’s hot._ George finally settled on. 

“Someone has to. I’ll still be around to talk later, get some sleep. And stay in bed, idiot.” 

“I’m already in bed.”  
“Don’t leave to look at the sky.”

“I’ll consider.” Dream’s voice was teasing but endearing. 

George wanted to reply with a quick comeback, but it was time to end the conversation. George could see the 2 hours and 36 minutes staring at him from his phone, he didn’t know where the time had gone. His heart tightened, he took a deep breath, he held his finger over the end call, as he made the riskiest decision he could think of, one that made him uncomfortable but feel so alive, 

“Goodnight, Clay.”


End file.
